It's been a long time since I've written. I must admit, the vast canyons of depression that sit underneath this new life have zapped my interest to do anything.
I have gotten back to work and had a breakdown on the first day. While coloring comic pages Andy and I worked on, I could see his hand in every panel. Since we worked together as artists from home, it was painful to get back to our routine without him. ("Okay darling, have a great day... see you at lunch...")
No more footsteps coming down the stairs from his studio. No more bringing him cookies and hearing "Hey, sweetie, I love when you come up to visit me..." Every aspect of our lives were intertwined. He was so many things, it is impossible to quantify the loss.
I play his last voice mail over and over and over.
Anyway, maybe I'll talk about those other things later.
Some wonderful things from this month:
I like Juno's motion-shake here
We got to give Adam his 30th birthday present, which was a very special moment and will live in my memory forever.
Andy, Joe, Adam and sometimes Matt would go on business trips, usually renting a van and driving collections of comic books to conventions. In June of 2026, they would take their last trip together. Many people could tell Andy was sick and he would eventually be diagnosed a week after they came home. Right after Father's Day.
North Carolina would be the last time they would take their annual boys road-trip, which had become a tradition. While walking around, Adam came across an original "Nancy" comic strip from the early 50s but the $375 price tag was out of his range.
Dejected, he walked off and Andy and Joe secretly bought it, with other loved ones chipping in later.
They hid it in a portfolio and then it would hide in my studio from June, through Andy's hospitalization and death until October 22. I brought the piece to a professional framer and chose a red tone to compliment. Deep in grief, looking at the present Andy organized for Adam made me just despondent that he wasn't there to give it to him.
However...
As the framer was going over options with me, I actually started to read the comic...
And realized it was meant to be... for so many reasons.
Reasons Andy himself couldn't have known at the time would be perfect details.
1. Each of the kids and their partners are represented in the cast, Adam being the youngest.
2. Adam, Andy and I also loved "PeeWee's Big Adventure" and PeeWee is the nickname of the youngest kid.
3. The movie playing at the theater is a Western, which Adam and Andy loved and would have "Spaghetti Western" nights complete with pasta and Clint Eastwood movies.
4. The kicker... the last word balloon.
"Hi, Dad"
We feel like Andy's spirit is somehow imbued here, Adam saying each time he looks at it he notices some new detail that makes him happy.
A really beautiful moment. Adam taking it all in.
Halloween would be the first holiday after Andy's death and we wanted to keep with our traditions. Halloween was very important to Andy and he was very generous to the neighborhood kids. He would say:
"Veronica, we are NOT giving out LAME candy, honey, not a chance. And we are NOT turning out that light! No kid goes without candy!"
He would get full-size candy bars for kids who went above-and-beyond with costume efforts and would buy bags and bags of sweets at the store so we never ran out.
He also built a life-size, 7 foot tall, Frankenstein's Monster.
He did this several years ago. He has also been fortified over the seasons.
And kept it in the kitchen of our first apartment.
And would stare at you...
However, he inhabits our basement now (hopefully he's OK with that) and gets hauled up annually to hang out with the neighborhood kiddos. I bought a color-change light from Target and set him up.
Immediately, cars would stop and people got out to take selfies.
I think Andy would've been happy. :)
We had lots of kids stop by and Joe and Kate hung out with me to make cider mules and pass out candy. We put on "Devil's Rain" for a few reasons; Andy and I liked putting it on each Halloween, and Ida Lupino, Tom Skerritt and William Shatner are in it. It's also legitimately a solid B-movie, I think.
One Halloween in 2014, one of Andy's teen classes at the Worcester Art Museum fell on October 31st proper. He knew it was important to capitalize on the moment and do something out of the ordinary.
Inspired by artist Wayne White, he instructed the kids to make a gigantic puppet complete with two hands on poles and a skull head with sculpted facial planes. They used recycled materials like old cds, plastic balls, duct tape and lots of cardboard.
The kids worked together to create something truly amazing in just two sessions and paraded the final product down Lancaster Street. People beeped and waved and cheered them on:
I think fondly on that time, those happy teaching days at WAM. Andy was a gifted teacher and a mentor to many people. I hope these kids have happy memories of that Halloween 12 years ago, as well.
Happy Halloween
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